Our baby is depressed, any suggestions how to cheer her up?

 

 

I am an angry troll in winter, beware

    I am so pissed with myself for being such a whiner. Just a bit chillier weather, frostier wind, drizzlings from the sky and here I go - "Miss Sunshine" in all her might!!!

   Fair enough, you can't feel good in autumn boots, no tights under your trousers, no hat and the hood that doesn't fit your head and just barely covers the back of it, but it's winter after all and not at ALL chummy. It allures me outside ( looks so friendly and sunny) and covers me with rampant cold which goes right under my skin to the very bones. And I am aggravated first at winter (not at all as scary as it will be in couple of weeks, till the end of March) and then at myself for being sullen and losing it for no reason. It's a good thing I don't have a dog, that will be a shame to condemn a pooch for the simple desire to go out at list for a trite walk
 
   Nothing romantic, acting like a complete recluse.  Don't like myself in winter.

Is it in the air already or is it just me???

to remind

   “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

mummy & baby

I want this adorable sweater!

My hometown

 

 

heart is the bodies strongest muscle

     
   Are you hot, cold or warm? I mean your heart.

               xoxoxo A.

just thoughts

     I caught cold(((, not severe one but still I've got dizziness, blackouts and I am quite cranky still which is the first sign of illness. Fair enough I spent the whole weekend at home, but managed to clean the apartment despite the desire to faint and vomit at the same time. Being chained to TV and a bed , I decided to catch up on some native movies which I admit I watch really rarely. It's hard to find a solid movie to watch, cause my kind of movie has to be psychological, emotional, give food to thoughts and engage me in the plot so deep I wouldn't be able to sleep! I grant you, I do watch easy romantic flicks, sometimes even stupid comedies but the Real movie has to grip my soul.

   Russian movies can be amazing, with indescribable humor and touchy feely storyline but mostly they are a pathetic copycat of a modern American novel, has nothing to do with reality, well at least nothing with my reality! The trashy life of some rich businessman, hookers, coke, booze and some cheesy acting... It has nothing to do with who a person is, it's disgustingly distasteful and I don't want to offend people who like them, but it leaves nothing inside after watching it. I think it's boring to watch cars and naked girls and listen to the stupid dialogs for 2 hours not knowing where is it all going and what's the purpose of it? The movie is Art, well it has to be.

  After starting and stopping to watch several films  on a minute 5 or 7 tops I actually found what I've been craving for. The wonderful Russian movie, which made me cry my guts out and more importantly Think!!!!!! Oh, nothing makes us think these days, just speed it up, live in a constant hustle, hurry up and not see what is important and deserves our undivided attention. The movie is called the "Island" by Pavel Lungin. The story is partly fictional and some characters are based on real people . The best movie I watched in years.

movie night)

 Yesterday we watched Three Musketeers. I think if you have a good feeling after you've watched the movie, it means that -  that actually was a good movie, quite funny and spectacular in stunts and costumes, all things we love about period films included)))) I was thinking about it for the whole day which doesn't happen very often, as I don't come across good films all the time. Funny I didn't have that much hopes in it, turns out it kinda is the movie one must  watch!!! A.

OMG!!!!!! Lana Del Rey

                 I LOVE THIS GIRL!!!!! 

      Absolutely stunning, perfect voice, sense of style, talent, kinda peligrosa... My mum says she really likes her "Blue jeans" and believe me my mum is really tough when it comes to admitting somebody's talent or beauty, she doesn't like mediocre, and guess what??? mum is always right in predicting whose gonna be  
BIG !!!!!!! High hopes for you girl ,

xoxo M.

Red lips) Vote

 

This is definitely a strong look

Ok, all these girls are gorgeous but I'm curious who's the best red lips girls? Brunettes?

 

Blondes?

 

Red-haired girls? 

 

I love this hair hue!!!!

care for some breakfast?

Some thoughts

    Today I have this strong feeling that I've been looking on things from the Wrong angle, seriously wrong.

  I can't believe how confused I was for so long. I feel like I am getting closer to realizing what I have done wrong and how to act from now on, and this is hard( Old habits die hard, and such nasty habits those are! They f*ed up my life royally and I have to be the different person from this day. I've been thinking about it for 2 years now and considering it, but now I just have this nauseating kick in my gut that I just have to do it!!!I can't go on the way I did letting somebody else take care of things, while I sit in the corner and pretend to be different but in fact never stop seeing things in my own Wrong perspective, blaming people, calling myself a victim...
I know it doesn't make sense for anybody but me, but it's dead simple and dead difficult at the same time.

   Be different, be better, leave some bad stuff behind. Who am I kidding, all of the bad stuff behind ! Living the way I did - It was easier and somehow sadder, it never gave me satisfaction or any nice feeling at all, it got me lonely, vain and depressed, and it made me closed in a shell so deep no one could get through. I just had this mediocre life with no particular partiality or attachment, not giving, but hey letting the ugly attitude live a full life and hurt people around me, the closest especially. Having hopes which made me arrogant, and aggravated - I got mad for not having everything my way. Silly girl, it's time to change, cause I don't have so much time left. This road isn't covered with rose petals, but it doesn't change the fact that this is the only road to follow.

   I have to be persistent and never look back, never. There was nothing right in the past - just mistakes, some necessary but IT'S no longer possible to make them over and over again. It is becoming your character. I hope I can do it, and not quit feeling weak and sorry for myself, we're brave enough to be rude, and proud and even justify ourselves by calling it Strength and Candidness. No longer working for me. The girl gotta do, what the girl gotta do in all the circumstances that surround me, no support from people, painful and scary like a toddler learning to walk , in my case again. Learning is a proper word here, but the fact that I'm learning now and not from the early age is not an accuse, I am grateful that I get it now. Better late than never. Maybe there is still time to get back on track and do things the way I should. Can't replay the time, can't turn it back and change some actions but can surely start doing them now.

  It is a bit messy but I guess you guys feel it too, or felt that at some point of your life...xoxo A.

wish to be there and don't at the same time

Thanks bloggers

   Hi to all bloggers,

   I am getting so much inspiration from reading the blogs!!!

   Thank ya all for giving me hope, good mood, a chance to laugh and smile)) You don't know that, or don't care, but some people out there actually get some help from your posts so I thank you for doing that for me as well. I guess it's not a big deal, but I never thought it would be so interesting and that I will learn something from the experience)

  See, there are millions of beautiful people out here, talented, funny, smart, brave, they aren't scared to put their thoughts in words and share them with the world! They talk about life and reveal more than many people I speak to in my real life, they are amazing, they live in the countries I've never been to and would probably never visit.((( And I am just this little person who admire all these ordinary people, can actually relate to them. Feels a bit weird cause I never was a fan of the Internet, I thought the whole idea was pretty sad and alien - no honesty, fake identities, bragging and only perves benefiting from it. Now I am changing my mind on this))). Truly. I owe this to you).


 You don't know me, would never hear of me, but you made one Russian lonely girl feel.

Our sleeping beauties)))

My wistful Sunday

     Heya,

    The pouring rain hasn't literally stopped for a minute today!!!AARGH.  All plans for Sunday utterly ruined( Instead of having a great and quite a busy day I had to stay at home and stuff my face((( Not making myself proud, but this weather is making me go nuts! I don't like to leave the premises cause my hair lives it's own crazy life, can't be trimmed anyhow (only by applying loads of spray! but that's extremely bad for my curls), thrives on any drizzlings from the sky, which we here have for like 8 months straight! I am a bit of a whiner I guess but I feel like a proper miserable cow- cold, covered in dirt from these huge puddles, with mess on my head where the hair has to be...Also I received a bit upsetting news from my work( no Big deal, but still made me feel distressed).

   Actually, I gotta conclude, it is better not to make any plans for your future, cause all of them go awry). I'm being honest, I could never in my life comprehend people who wished for something deeply, visualized things, planned stuff and got it all right as planned! I don't know what that is (some supernatural powers?), but as soon as I make a proper schedule, rely on something or somebody, get attached and comfy about my nearest future , it gets all messy and hectic and exactly the opposite of what I hoped for. The little things are not that much disturbing I think, but when the bigger picture falls apart I start to think that I am supposed to be unreasonable, spontaneous, unpredictable, out of order and luck girl, who never gets it right. 

   That's it. Deal with it.

   And of course it has nothing to do with my hair as you've  probably realized.

Hope your weekend was on the contrary light, and eventful . xoxo A.

my grandma can cook all of it, probably everybodies can!

old school Russian food)

more food coming)))

our food

that's a cute manicure))))))